The Great Gorilla Glue Crisis Of 2021

We're happy to report the Great Gorilla Glue Hair Crisis
of 2021 is over! 
While the U.S. Senate held its impeachment trial of former president Trump last week, much of the nation was glued to the other major crisis: 

That was the Great Gorilla Glue In The Hair Crisis of 2021 .   

A woman named Tessica Brown ran out of her favorite hair care product and made a fateful decision that was followed by millions of people. 

According to Beauty IRL:

"She ran out of Got2b Glued Freeze Spray, and decided to use a spray version of Gorilla Glue. As my friend (and Teen Vogue Fashion and Beauty Director) Tahirah Hairston pointed out to me: She could have been confused with Glorilla Snot, a 'superior hold' gel."

I never knew fashion products could be so confusing, and now I can almost see why Brown might have been confused when she reached for the Gorilla Glue.

Of course, she took her plight to social media. The initial video has been seen on TikTok more than 20 million times already. 

The glue had been there for a month. The crisis grew. The fine folks at Gorilla Glue felt compelled to put out a statement:

 "We do not recommend using our products in or on air as they are considered permanent. If someone does use this on their hair, they can try soaking the affected area in warm, soapy water or apply rubbing alcohol to the affected areas.....If her hair has truly been glued down to her scalp and immobile for a month with that many aggressive attempts to wash it out, it is possible her hair is fractured at the root but we certainly hope for the best."

In a radio interview with KISS 92.5 she then tried removing the glue with saline water, nail polish and pads.  We don't know what kind or brand of nail polish. 

Shaving her head would be a last resort. 

She's also contemplating a lawsuit, at least according to TMZ, but I think the argument is a little thin: Her attorney said, "We're told the label on the product she used says do not use on eyes, skin or clothing...with no mention of hair which Tessica feels is misleading."

For the record, Brown said later she's not suing. 

Finally, before a breathless nation could have a heart attack, there was finally good news. 

A Dr. Michael Obleng offered to do the job of removing the glue for free, thought the procedure would normally cost over $12,000. He said removing the glue would take two to three days to complete.

Mostly because there's also nothing better than free publicity,

Apparently Obeng created a chemical solution that breaks down polyurethane, the main ingredient in Gorilla Glue 

 Total recovery time, though will be two to three months, and we don't know how things will looks when she's done. 

 And... of course in the end Saturday Night Live just had to parody this whole Gorilla Glue thing. Watch:





 

 



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